i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
