I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
