Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
