Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
