are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
