big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
