all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
