But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
