I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
