Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize