to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
