did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I looked at my own cervix.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
