don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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