I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
