OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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