You're a womanizer and a bitch.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
