too bad you live with your parents still
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
