Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
