Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
You did what with his pubic hair?
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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