dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
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Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
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Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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