All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
