Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
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