if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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