And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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