I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
