How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
