I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Is it because I queefed?
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
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