I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
