remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
