Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
