hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
