Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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