weddingsv make me drug and hornr
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
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