So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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