your room smells of hookers.
And success
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
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