what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
