he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
