I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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