I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize