We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape