i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix