well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
