he looks like a really good dad on facebook
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
