My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
