I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Your penis caused this!
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
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