Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
