your parents love me but you hate me
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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