from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize