I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Nobody cheats on THIS.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
