What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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