So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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