We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
