I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
