I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
