I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Randomize
