Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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