you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
