so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
