Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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