im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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