You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize
