at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I made him laugh his dick is mine
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
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