he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
accomplished twins. life is a go
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
Randomize
