Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
No subtext here. People are naked.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
